Dirty Little Secrets

i fear that there will never be a lasting peace
i fear that humankind will never learn from history
i fear that we are going to destroy our environment beyond repair
i fear that my sons might end up fighting in this war
i fear that someone will shut me up

I remember being scared and worried that the horse, an old grey mare, was going to bolt, throw me, slam me up against a tree, anything but behave nicely. I’d already seen misbehaving horses and being a novice, I knew I couldn’t handle it if something were to go drastically wrong. I remember being surprised at just how high up you are while in the saddle, and how wide the horse’s body actually is. I can understand now how someone could get “saddle sore” from riding after a long time of not riding.

Once I got settled and held the reins in my hands, the horse just stood there, stock still. I was a bit bewildered about how to get it to move and then remembered that if I pressured it’s flanks with my heels, it might move. Sure enough, I got her to start walking. We walked around a farm field like that for about five or ten minutes and I began to gain a little confidence in the saddle as she responded to the reins and turned when I wanted her to turn without any complaints or head throwing or anything like that. I patted her neck and she was warm and soft, and we both began to relax a little and enjoy ourselves.

Then I decided to see if I could get her to gallop, so I gave her a soft kick and she started galloping. I eased into her rhythm, using my legs as shock absorbers. The grin on my face must have told the whole story to anyone who was watching. I remember, after the ride was over, the farmer telling me that she hadn’t seen that horse gallop in years, but that we obviously hit it off marvellously.

I loved my first ride.

Compassion is being able to relate to some other being, realizing what they are going through, empathising, and if you follow through, helping to ease their suffering as best you can. It doesn’t mean allowing them free reign to walk all over you, at least, not knowingly. There are times when it’s a very fine line indeed. The trouble is, when you have an emotional investment in another person, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to realize when someone is lying to you. If you love someone, you believe in them, even if your faith in them later turns out to be misplaced faith.

There is such a thing as “tough love,” too. You can’t help someone, especially those with some sort of addiction, unless they first want to seriously help themselves. You step in and fix things too many times and they begin to rely on you to get them out of every uncomfortable situation they encounter. Sometimes refusing to help is the best thing you can do to spur them to action in helping themselves. You have to learn when to say “No” and stick to it. Showing them an alternate choice of action and watching to see whether they show interest in another way can also be very telling as to their true intentions.